Here’s the thing, I’m amazing. Not by my own confession, this is what God says about me (Psalm 139:14-16) and my Mama too. Although, there’s this thing that I have that doesn’t define me but it does limit me on occasion, this disability, that isn’t so great. I rarely discuss it but I am this week because I would love to go to the upcoming Lincoln Durham concert. Having a lack of balance in a crowded room means I can’t do it solo which means I need a person, someone I can link arms with who’s willing to fight the crowd; if I’m going to be able to be a ROCKSTAR just for one night, that’s what I need. I’ve reached out to just about everybody in every mode of communication there is, trying in every way I knew how. Still, the plans seemed as sure as driving a Jeep over a rickety bridge, bound to break.
With days to the show winding down and the only definite answer being no, I began to think that my hopes up high were going to end up down low. Doubt was creeping in the way water slides beneath a door. That horrible sinking feeling. (So many song allusions in this article already it’s ridiculous.)
I hoped I’d go to this concert. I hoped I’d get to see the one-man-band blues/folk/rocker thrashing his cigar box guitar. I desperately hoped to get a confirmed yes instead of another no. Then I thought, am I putting to much hope in hoping? If the plans don’t work out, is that really the worst thing? How much does it matter, really? That thing that’s hoped for today, years from now, will it even be remembered?
We hope for all sorts of things, finances, promotions, less traffic, the winning lotto ticket. Hope is wonderful and energizing and immensely powerful but hope is just the beginning it’ll never take us across the finish line. So what then? Do we just disregard hope altogether because plans seldom work out? Not at all. Hope is where every single thing that is good begins. Hope forever. Shackle yourself to it (Zechariah 9:12) become a Victim of Victory, but don’t ever make it your life support. Hope is an enhancer, a motivator sometimes it’s not even a feeling but a knowing. To avoid that heart-weighing heaviness that accompanies unmet expectations hope is not the place to look, trust is. Hope is like the ship and trust is like the anchor, the ship sways with the current but no movement shifts the anchor. Never mind what we hope for because it is always changing anyway, what are we anchored in? What do we have our heels dug into? For me it’s Christ, loving God is what I’m truly invested in-concert or no concert-whether I find a person to go with or not I still have God, I’m still blessed. Although He could make a way when there’s none in sight, He might not and that’s okay because my trust is in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6). This little piece of my life about wanting to go to a concert is not the big picture. It’s not about hope it is about trust. That’s what rides us through. That’s the make or break. Hope is shifty, trust is sturdy, and God does not fail.
I may not get to go see Lincoln Durham. God knows I want too and that I’m savagely craving to hear the live version of Beautifully Sewn, Violently Torn and Love Letters. Right now I don’t see why my plan can’t happen. I think it’d be a very nice night to get all done up, rock out with some friends, possibly meet the dark and dashing Texan singer and say that his album Exodus of the Deemed Unrighteous is the soundtrack behind my new Christian fiction novel, but as much as I hope for those possibilities; it’s perfectly alright if I don’t get them. When you let go, you grow and I can make the choice to do that. My plans might be for me to get the chance to be a one night ROCKSTAR, whereas as God, being the one who made the stars and all, may see that all of my hope is vulnerable and exposed and say “that’s nice, I see your desire I do, thank you for letting go and giving it to Me. Now here’s something better, I love you.”
That bloodred vinyl almost makes me want to get a record player. There’s ten songs on here and literally every single one is gorgeously haunting.
From bloodred to bone white…11 tracks, perfect southern-gothic style that shows his incredible skill on Drifting Wood. Clementine is rock that stays real with a touch of romantic, and of course, that signature Lincoln Durham sound on Love Letters. Lincoln buries himself on this album even though he doesn’t want to be digging his own grave, and he’ll take whoever listens with him.
Do yourself a favor and buy both of these albums in their entirety today, because if he has a concert going to it is no guarantee. Buying his albums means that his music will be there to drown in over and over again.
Arguably the best for last, Lincoln Durham performing Creeper which will hopefully be released as a single very soon.
3/13/15 Just wanted to do a quick update on this post, I did get to be a ROCKSTAR for a night. As if everything working out too perfectly wasn’t enough-from excellent parking to fantastic food and a reserved front row table for the concert-I also met the man himself. Pre-show I got to talk to Lincoln Durham and I did get to tell him the very things I wrote about in this post…talk about an awesome God.