Listen

Good music is vital. It’s not exclusively the creative types who can attest to this truth, so much of the world operates off sound and melody. Music inspires emotion. Music inspires confidence. Music simply inspires. I love finding new music. I love broadening my all-over-the place playlists. It’s nice because I enjoy one band or one genre or even one song, for weeks or months and then something sparks a change and I hear something new, which inevitably leads to a collection of songs and artists that I previously had no idea existed. First, I heard Eden, a favorite of a fellow crossfitter, which led me to Blackbear and now I’m voluntarily tied to the track 4U, the last lines especially.

If you can’t see what’s in front of you, you lose.-Blackbear

Initially, when I was listening to this resounding bar that plays three times at the song’s end, I thought it was meant to be outward advice. The people who can’t see what’s in front of them, lose. Those people, the ones who are metaphorically blind, lose. The ‘eye for an eye’ people that MLK addressed, lose. The people who can’t see me, lose me. Those people, the ones I want that don’t seem to want me are the losers, they are the ones I assumed Blackbear was singing too. Then I decided to think differently. A skill I’ve cultivated over the years to keep my mind open and my heart warm. Thinking about others missing out on the awesomeness that is me, just didn’t sit right in my soul. Who am I to think so highly of myself? It’s great to know your value and self-love is essential but only wearing the hard shell of ‘your loss’ to make yourself feel like the winner isn’t the most mature way to function. I flipped the coin from focusing on others to applying that lyric to myself. Instead of projecting the words like a weapon, I asked myself, what am I blind to? Honestly, I would say a lot if my gut reaction was to be bitter and think, everybody who doesn’t give me the love I want is a loser. It is not their job to love me. It is my job to love me. All of this ties nicely with the topics I addressed in my previous post, Shook.

I took a breath, said a prayer and searched the blind spots of my mind with those Blackbear lyrics playing on acoustic in the background, “if you can’t see what’s in front of you, you lose.” Again and again. Becoming more convincing with each repition after that, silence. The song is over and I am left to think. What’s in front of me? Not what do I wish was in front of me. Not what do I wish I had. Not what do I wish I looked like or who would I like to have but what do I actually have? The unencumbered, selfless, unemotional answer is far more than I deserve. Gratitude is easy once comparison ends. I have so much in front of me. For every complaint I may have about my life, there are at least three positives to cancel out the negative. That tells me where I should focus my attention.

It’s not about making sure people and places know what they have when they have you, that is pointless and utterly exhausting. There is nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. No one can live the life that’s yours, so live it well and live it right. Rise, grind and shine. Keep your head high and your feet on the ground. It’s important for me to see what’s in front of me before I do in fact, lose it because as a wise woman once said; “it’s all temporary.” I have my God, I have my family, I have my words and of course, my dog. Right now, I have freedom and I have time and I desperately need to be more appreciative of the two. I have hope and I think those of us who do have hope also have a divine responsibility to give it to the hopeless. Hope is my ultimate goal. What I love most is helping people rise. Wherever you would like to go, I would love to be the one to pull you up. Hope is that beginning of greatness beyond measure. I will give hope away and it will come back to me. Just as creativity breeds creativity and love breeds love, the more hope you use, the more hope you have. I have some big decisions in front of me. Decisions that could allow me to bring more hope to the world than I already bring. I am hoping as well as praying that I have chosen wisely. Whether it’s through writing or speaking or an exchange at a coffee shop, hope will be there because it is in me like Hebrews 6:19. Hope is with me wherever I go. Maybe it’s not so much a question of, where do I find the hope I need but instead, how do I give the hope I already have away to others just like me?