I Never Understood

I never understood
the women who can never seem to
let go
of their relationships when it’s
so obvious,
even to them that it’s time to
move on.
Is it really that bad, to be
-just you-
for a little while?
He may love you but
that could be only
what he’s told you,
how does it feel, really, in
all honesty
when he holds you?
I never understood
those women
who put up with something so
hollow.
To feel like they’re loved or at least
some version of it,
like those rings that turn your finger green,
is it worth it?
Sporting something so cheap,
just to say you’re wearing jewelry?
-Being alone-
is it really, such a dastardly thing?
I never understood
those women.

I never understood those
females who
follow their man
wherever he may go,
here, there, every where. Like one of those little ducks
that imprinted
on the first being who didn’t treat it
quite as horribly as the others.
I wonder what
those females
would do without a man to chase
around the country.
How can she be sure that
this time
it’s love and she
-is not-
just another lover?
These relationships,
the ones that make it
so
damn
easy,
I can’t help but think,
how invested is he?
Not very.
He doesn’t have to be
when she gives him
-whatever-
he wants.
Following like a lost puppy.
He calls her pretty, buys her things, and
treats her nicely,
so she continues
marking the trail he leaves
with pieces of her heart.
In case she
-loses him again-
he moves quickly since he’s always been
going where he wants to go.
Hopefully,
hope
fully,
if there was a move
she herself wanted
to make
it would be him invested in the chase.
Then again, how will she know? He’s up again and she has to go.
I never understood
those females.

I never understood
those girls
who find themselves with someone else
every single night.
Such risky repetition,
like a perverted carousal.
A merry-go-round for the lustful
and the lost.
Is it worth it?
Sinning between the sheets because after all,
it is a thing
-we all need-
waking up every morning in a new bed,
next to him, if he
hasn’t left already.
In the morning light it is it the same
form of love
that was felt last night?
I never understood
those girls.
Maybe it is better being
-satisfied-
feeling yet another
selfish conquer.
These girls,
they are not always the victim.
They are sometimes
it’s true.
They fall into the arms of a villain,
a sheep with fangs but these girls
know how to play too.
Preying when they might find what
-they need-
by praying.
Praying like a Mantis, one and done. A tally like that
must take a toll.
Thank the Lord
no matter what the sin,
He can save the soul.
I never understood
those girls.

I always wanted to be a lady unlike any of the ones
listed above.
So I am.
Am I perfect? No, no, no-never was and
never will be. Perfection has little to do with
the lady I want to be.
I never wanted to cling
to a man, as if he were the final strand of hope
I had as I dangled over a cliff.
So I learned how to climb
on my own.
Accepting help as I go but
never fearing to be
left alone.
I never wanted to be the chaser although,
I’ve done some chasing,
and now I run for no one.
I never wanted to be a whore and so
-I never was-
no matter how simple it may be
to fulfill a need.
The lady I want to be is one of class and integrity,
a daily challenge
in a world like this that encourages good character
be tossed out the window
immediately.
Self-respect, honor,
and dignity.
Love and fear that run deep for Christ.
Where can a lady like me
find something like that,
in a place like this?
Morals like the 1950’s,
zeal like the 1920’s.
I always wanted to be
that kind of lady.
Not every celebration needs to consist of
revelry.
What then, when it comes to love?
If not the clinger, nor the chaser, or the whore;
is there a king fit for this queen?
Living in what
some would call absurdity since it is the
21st century.
Is there a gentleman for the lady?
Of course.
Not a single one walks this world alone.
She will find him because royalty knows royalty,
and when those paths cross
-officially-
There will be no denying
They make a great team. That king and his queen.
They work together, synchronized like soldiers in
the
strongest
army.
Protecting each other, thigh to neck.
He leads and she follows because
-a true King-
knows how to follow the
King of Kings.
He, although in the lead,
will always look to her out of
love and honor,
and she will nod respectfully
because she respects him fully.
He walks in shoes of peace, holding his sword steady,
he is ready.
She has roots
planted in the scriptures.
They stay close to the water, refresh in the stream, and
lie down and sleep.
Royalty knows royalty.