Wet n Dirty

I have read that people with Cerebral Palsy expend 4-5 times more energy than the average person. I find this hilarious considering I feel like I don’t get much done. Nevertheless, it’s something I have to take into consideration given that I workout 4-6 times a week in a rigorous fashion. Weight lifting and Crossfit will take its toll. Even with proper nutrition, DOMS chases like a K-9 on patrol and soreness will clamp down eventually. Knowing I usually don’t get ‘bit by the dog’ until 2-3 days after the WOD (workout of the day) I can prepare for the pain.

On one of my much needed recovery nights I prepared to take a bath, which is not something I do because of sharks specifically, the movie Jaws, which is ludacris but that is my reason why. However, I found a bath bomb at Whole Foods specifically for muscle soreness. It was a deal, something like 3 for $5. Whole Foods is like a playground to me and I get far too excited.

At the time, I was getting ready for a trip and considering that the events ahead of me were sure to be frightening and challenging I figured it would be a good time to conquer my fear associated with baths too. I am many things but a coward is not one of them. I may struggle with fear, I may even battle phobias and past hurts but I am no coward. I feel the fear and do it anyway, which may be the only way to conquer it. If I didn’t do things afraid, I wouldn’t do anything at all. Reverse it. Chase what’s chasing you. Let me put it this way, If I’m going after Goliath, I’m bringing all five stones. My giant that night was the fear of being submerged in a body of water. Also known as, taking a bath. I adjusted the water so it was hot but not too hot and then watched it rise. Once it was high enough I turned on the jets and dropped in the bath bomb and watched the ‘plunk’ expand to a less than impressive white mist that probably wanted to be a cloud. I could feel the steam in my hair and on the back of my neck. Foot by foot I lowered myself in. It was much hotter than I thought it would be but I told myself I could take the heat and waded in anyway. As soon as I was in the water I was already sweating but I figured that was okay because I was taking a bath to get cleaned up. I scrubbed my skin and shaved my legs. Then I had to take a break because the heat was making tired.

If I’m going after Goliath, I’m bringing all five stones.-Genevieve Rose

I lifted myself out of the bubbling water onto a seat that was carved out in the middle of the back of the tub. I felt like I had to catch my breath. It was then that I saw all the little hairs I had shaved off clinging to my wet skin and I began to think about all the grime I had washed off before that. I couldn’t see it in the water but I knew it was there and the jets were swirling it around and around. I hadn’t thought about sharks yet but this might have been worse, all those germs were real and they were circling. I had to wash my hair in water that was already dirty. Why did I want to do this again? It was difficult to maneuver around the tub, partially because I was overheated and still sore because whatever was in that mystery bath bomb wasn’t helping, but also, I was floating through my own waste. I might as well have lit a cigarette in this nasty tub and added Tyler Durden to my many aliases.

I submerged my lower half again, thankful I didn’t fill the hot water higher like I initially wanted too. It would have been more heat and ultimately more grime but I had grown impatient. Tiredly, I found the button on the bathtub’s edge and turned off the jets. Instant silence. I had not realized how loud the roar of the water was until was gone. In the silence I feared I would start to see fins and teeth. I figured I would distract myself my washing my hair or as I think of it, my mane. I didn’t want to tip back and go under like a baptism because one, the water was filthy and two, I cannot stand the sound of being submerged. My heart beats faster just thinking about it. Come to think of it though, in reality, my heart was beating very slow. I thought it would be easier to wash my hair with the attached faucet, which would’ve worked but the hose didn’t extend so I was stuck in one spot rinsing under frigid water. The cold I welcomed because the rest of me was steaming but not for long because then I became both too hot and too cold and only one section of my hair was getting wet, this was going to be impossible to rinse. I didn’t even want to put shampoo in let alone conditioner. Like I said, there is a mane on my head. It is thick like bricks, there are sections and it takes time. I thought could try to find a pose where I could shave rest of my legs because I wasn’t able to get it all sitting down. If I stood up though, I figured I’d slip or possibly faint. It was way too hot. With wet hair and a partially washed body I backed out of the endeavor, pulled up the drain and left the steaming pool of filth as quick as I could without fainting. I thought how funny it was the things we learn as adults. How long it took me to honestly invest in this experience and how so very pointless it is. Maybe some fear is good. Maybe some fear helps avoid the unnecessary. Baths are gross. I have to go shower.

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